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Today, we're getting up close and personal with Planned Parenthood's Dr. Sara C. Flowers. She's been working in the sex education field for two decades and is helping fight the stigma, shame, and lack of resources most of us have faced throughout our lives. |
She has a lot to say about where we've been, where we're at, and how we can move forward in terms of having healthier, more pleasurable lives (inside and outside of the bedroom!). Check out our interview below. |
Q: | Tell us what inspired you to get involved with Planned Parenthood and what your favorite parts are about working there. | |
A: I grew up in the '80s and '90s. As a kid, I remember seeing the news where Ryan White and his family just wanted him to attend school with other kids, but fear and stigma from HIV were barriers to that. I was in fifth grade when Magic Johnson announced his HIV-positive status and retired from the Lakers, and I clearly remember the way people reacted. |
I remember Black women in music, like TLC and Salt-N-Pepa, talking about sex, sexuality, pleasure, and condoms — taking a public stand when often no one else was. I also remember the lessons I learned about sex, relationships, dignity, love, and loss from the musical "Rent." |
For all of these memories, I imagined what those folks might've been going through, and remember how thinking about those injustices, fear, shame, and lack of information made people act, and how growing up surrounded by those messages made me feel. |
I do this work because people deserve to feel at home in their own body. The first sentence of my application for my doctoral program read, "I want to change the way sex education is taught in this country." |
As someone who has worked in the field of sex education for 20 years, I've always admired Planned Parenthood sex educators. Their impact is felt in schools and communities across the country. As PPFA's vice president of education and training, I work every day to help change the way sex education is taught in this country, so that young folks and adults alike can live fully in their bodies, free from shame and stigma. |
Q: | For many people, conversations around reproductive health and sexual wellness are still ~taboo~ and uncomfortable. How do you suggest becoming more comfortable when talking about these topics? | |
A: In our culture, there's way too much stigma around sex and sexuality. One way to combat the shame associated with [it] is to make sure young people have access to sex education. |
In reality, the skills learned from sex ed shape healthy relationships with ourself and others and support our ability to navigate healthcare systems and institutions through our lifetimes. The knowledge, skills, safety, and affirmation that sex education offers people of all ages is liberating. |
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Q: | What are your top tips on how to have a healthier, more pleasurable sex life? | |
A: Get to know yourself. Start with the basics. Knowing your body can help you discover what's "normal" for you so that you can more easily notice when something seems off and speak with a medical professional about it. |
Tap into your sensual side solo: Understanding what your body responds to will help you communicate to your partner(s) what feels good for you — and what doesn't. |
Communicate: Keep up your practice of talking about risks, boundaries, and how to stay close. Consent is also a big part of intimacy and having a safer, happy sex life. |
Make a date of sexually transmitted infection (STI) testing: It could be a solo date, or if you have a partner, you can make a joint event out of it. Sometimes it can be intimidating to talk with a partner about STI testing, but linking it to safety and framing it as something you can support each other in by doing it together can help build intimacy and closeness. |
Q: | What's your ideal way to celebrate Sexual Health Awareness Month? Can you offer a couple of ideas on how others can celebrate, too? | |
A: This Sexual Health Awareness Month, and every month, we affirm our commitment to stand with young people without shaming or stigmatizing them. With our partner organizations, Planned Parenthood is committed to sexual and reproductive healthcare, rights, and education, and we'll continue to provide and advocate for the sex education young people need and deserve. |
To celebrate, you might: - Study up. PlannedParenthood.org has information on a ton of sexual health topics — from STIs to sex toys and everything in between.
- Spread the wealth of knowledge. Chances are, the people in your life also have questions about sexual health. Maybe you can share your newfound knowledge, help answer their question, point them toward resources that can help, or encourage them to see a reproductive healthcare professional for care.
- Help the young people in your area get the sex education they deserve. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), less than half of all high schools and only 1 in 5 middle schools are teaching the "essential" topics, which include HIV, STI, and pregnancy prevention. If you're a parent, caregiver, or high school student, go to PTA or school board meetings and speak up to fight for real education and safer schools — and bring other parents and students along with you.
- Listen to young people. [They] deserve equitable sex education that recognizes all of who they are and all that they could be. This means ensuring LGBTQ+ youth, Black, Latino, and Indigenous youth, youth with disabilities, and all others are included and seen for their unique experiences with identity, sexuality, relationships, and culture.
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Q: | Last but not least, what's your favorite little-known fun fact about intimacy? | |
A: Sexual pleasure has lots of emotional and physical health benefits — whether you're with a partner or not. Orgasms can lift your mood, improve sleep, and help relieve stress, making you feel good, both physically and emotionally. If you're having sex with (a) partner(s), consistent, open communication can make the experience even more intimate! |
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