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Alex Colkitt was making a six-figure salary with great benefits, living with someone she planned to marry, and enjoying New York City as her playground every weekend. Sounds ideal, right? Nope, she says she was "miserable." After making changes in the name of The Pursuit of Happiness, she's now thriving while living her dream life and helping others do the same as a life coach. |
Below, Colkitt shares tips on how you can beat burnout, redefine success, and live a happier, healthier life, too. |
*This interview has been edited for length and clarity. |
Q: | As a life and happiness coach, what do you find usually leads folks to a happy, fulfilling life? | |
A: The most common value that leads people to happiness and fulfillment in life is the quality of their relationships. |
First, the most important relationship you'll ever have in your life is with yourself. When you're taking care of your health and well-being, prioritizing the activities that fill your cup, and treating yourself with kindness and compassion, you allow yourself to be authentically you. When you're fully living in alignment with yourself, you'll undoubtedly feel happiness every day. |
That internal happiness then bleeds into external relationships. You'll bring people into your life who love you exactly for who you are. |
Q: | What are some sneaky signs of burnout you've seen through working with your clients? What tips do you have to help folks avoid that overwhelm and fatigue? | |
A: Burnout is so much more common than we think, and the signs can easily be written off as "normal," especially with hustle culture raging in our society. |
Common signs of burnout are: |
- Extreme exhaustion: You don't have the energy to do anything, including things that usually bring you joy.
- Detachment and indifference: You're detached from work because you think it's meaningless and don't care about the outcome.
- Loss of motivation: You tend to procrastinate and avoid things you know you can do, you just don't want to do them.
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As tempting as it is to stay up late in order to reclaim some of your free time, focus on getting a good night's sleep. Sleep is your body and mind's No. 1 defense against stress, as this is when your body actively removes excess cortisol (stress hormone) to restore balance to the body. You'll wake up a bit more refreshed and better able to handle life's stressors. |
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Q: | Can you offer a couple of questions or journal prompts that readers can reflect on to help them figure out if they're truly happy or what might guide them to a better place? | |
A: These three questions are going to help you realize if the actions you're taking every day are leading to happiness and fulfillment or if there's a disconnect between what you want versus what you're currently doing. |
- When you're on your deathbed looking back at your life with no regrets, how do you define a successful life?
- What kind of impact do you want to make?
- How do you want to feel every day?
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Q: | What's something someone can do to shift their mindset and start feeling happier right now? | |
A: Gratitude is my No. 1 recommended habit of happiness. We tend to fall into comparison traps (thanks, social media!) that lead to us wanting things just because someone else has them. Comparison is the thief of joy, so by practicing gratitude, your focus remains on all the good things you do have in your life and helps you feel content and happy right now in your present circumstance. |
It's really easy to implement right away. Stick to a consistent practice, and you'll start to feel happier fairly quickly. |
Q: | Do you have any words of support or encouragement for people who might feel stuck or unhappy in their current position and don't know what to do to improve their circumstances? | |
If you're feeling unhappy but you're not sure what to do, it's OK to ask for help. As a strong-willed independent woman, I thought I could figure it all out on my own, but I wouldn't be where I am today without the support I have from friends, family, mentors, and coaches. Now I offer that same help, support, and encouragement through my signature coaching program, Life-Work Balance Blueprint, because I truly believe happiness is a choice, and we all deserve to live our happiest, healthiest life, unapologetically. |
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